I knew meditation was good for me.
Good for my mental health, relaxation and probably a million other things.
I knew I could do with some help and relief from my over thinking Monkey Mind. It sounded a bit woo woo, but what did I have to lose?
I decided to give it a try.
I downloaded an app.
I sat down.
I was ready.
Bring on the magic, inner peace and singing angels.
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What happened next?
Where are my angels? Where is my inner peace?
Instead of inner peace, the thoughts inside my head went crazy. If anything they got worse, not better. I already had a loud and annoying inner critic voice. Meditation just seemed to make it louder.
In my mind, meditation and being alone with my thoughts was about as appealing as getting a root canal at the dentist.
I decided I was a meditation FAIL. That was the end of that.
My thoughts got LOUDER. I decided I was a meditation FAIL.
Then I discovered there were some preparation steps I could take BEFORE trying to start a meditation practice.
Why had no one told me this before?
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Think of it like this..
Its a bit like when I have tight, inflamed muscles. I know that deep tissue massage would help keep my muscles supple. But when everything is sore and inflamed, deep tissue massage makes things worse.
I would need a short period of rest, hydration, ice and gentle movements BEFORE I could benefit from a massage. I would need
I would need preparation steps.
I needed these 4 PREPARATION STEPS before I could feel the benefits of meditation.
The 4 important things I needed to learn BEFORE I could enjoy meditation
1) Know that negative thoughts are normal human behaviour
You mean there’s nothing wrong with me?
Everyone feels like this sometimes?
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2) Know that I am not my thoughts
Wait, you mean just because I have the thought of “I am a loser” doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t mean it’s ME, doesn’t mean I need to take it seriously.
LIFE CHANGING!!
Also, I learnt some invaluable tools to unhook from my thoughts.
The analogy that works for me…
I am the blue sky, always there. My thoughts and feelings are like clouds, temporary and separate to me.
Reading The Happiness Trap book opened my eyes to all of this. I then went on to study under the book’s author Russ Harris.
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* My meditation before learning this – Meditation would bring up thoughts such as I’m a failure, or I should be doing more of XXX, etc.
I would attach to and believe those thoughts. It was horrible. No wonder I hated meditation.
* My meditation after learning this – Some negative thoughts still pop in my head during meditation, but I can observe them as separate to me and watch them float on by.
So freeing.
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3) Bring down my overall stress response.
My fight, flight or freeze response was stuck on high. I found it near impossible to sit and quieten my mind. I had to deal with this first, before I could enjoy meditation.
Yes, of course meditation can bring down the stress response, but for absolute beginners its a bit like the inflamed muscle and massage example above. There are many easier and gentler ways.
Once my overall stress response came down, I could finally allow myself to sit with myself and my thoughts.
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4) The goal of meditation is NOT to stop your thoughts, its to stop letting them control you.
The final thing I needed to learn was that there is no magical place to arrive to. No angels singing.
The few glimpses I had of being still and in the moment… that IS meditation. I could allow myself to be a beginner and know that I can get better over time.
Also knowing that the practice is the purpose. Every time I get caught up in my thoughts and bring myself back to the present moment, I am strengthening that muscle.
Like doing exercise reps for my mind.
Meditation also reinforces the lesson that “I am not my thoughts”. Meditation shows me clearly, that I am the observer of my thoughts, they are separate to me.
This has given me back so much confidence, control and freedom.
So there you have it,
The 4 things I needed to learn BEFORE I could enjoy the wonderful benefits of meditation.
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